Its too small to be out there all alone. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? original sound - Tyren Sams. 12. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. 5. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". I have a gold watch that belonged to him. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. Did someone leave your cage open? I cant even afford to feed myself! And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. 7 Tricky Work Situations, and How to Respond to Them The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. [*clap your hands*]. The best I can be. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. What do you say when people ask you that? Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. No, waitIm actually plural. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. I have been going through GOT in my work life. 56. Because your ass is out of this world! 13. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Im not single. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. You just live. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. Are You Still Alive GIFs | Tenor 12. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. (This line came from the cartoon show. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. The answer is simple. 19. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). Oh, well 8. It's best part of the whole movie. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. 15. 28. Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. 1. 10. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. Stop asking me why Im single! If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. No one loves superheroes. 62. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. 41. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! provided, of course, that he really is dead." Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. *wink*. But it can be funny. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. 79. (perfect for vegans). He sold it to me on his deathbed. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. Now that is pretty f****** funny. 32. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. 7. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People Liked what you just read? 7. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. Because Jamaican me crazy! You should really come with a warning label. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. Life is up to something. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. I'm afraid I can't do that. 84. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! 100. Living an amazing dream. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. 67. This one is bound to get a laugh. Happy, and I know it. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. This one kills me! I'm alive, whoa! It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Socioeconomically? No? [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. Hi! Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Its going great, really! Are those space pants? No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. Still Alive synonyms - 44 Words and Phrases for Still Alive It lets him know that you love spending time together. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. Hanging by a thread. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. 50. 39. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. Heart-shattering. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! Your hair looks great! Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. The following two tabs change content below. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? Were already married, remember?! If I had a tail, I would wag it! Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. 6. More like give me a sign that. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. My grandfather had a ton of these. Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! 76. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. "Hey You, I'm really good. Stop joking! 1. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. . The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. That's impossible. " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. "Any day above ground is a good day. 61. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Hello, how are you? What an impertinent question to ask a girl! 5. Congrats, guys! But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. . Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. What Can Be the Worst Epic Responses To I Love You? - Bonobology.com I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. I only fall in love with anime characters. Shane from The L Word? 35 Best Texts to Respond to a Date that has Ghosted You When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! 69. Me being single is just a conspiracy! I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. Financially? Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. 20 Funny Out-of-Office Messages to Inspire Your Own [+ Templates] - HubSpot What to say when your crush asks how you are? Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. 14. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. 14. 31. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. Don Draper? 43. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. 36. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. Being single is much better than being married. "I'm alright, mate". Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. So much better than most people. 65+ Funny Responses to Everyday Questions! - Self Development Journey "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) Otherwise, we would still be with them today. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Your secrets are always safe with me. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. funny response to are you still alive My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. 9. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. We cant always get what we want now, can we? I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Privacy Policy. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. 2. Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. The hottest single of the year is me. Alive Quotes (560 quotes) - Goodreads 2. The only thing offending me right now is your face. It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. *Siri activates front camera*. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. Because youre highly qualified. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. 97. Brilliant! Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? Congratulations, sir. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. Pick your struggle. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes (6 quotes) - goodreads.com Don't Push It Too Far. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). Because Im awkward and ugly. 82. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. Physically? 13. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! 6. 65. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. 59. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. Most of the time, that is not true. but it's just so blunt and funny. 99 Savage And Funny Answers To "How Old Are You?" It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. Maybe their roommate was sick. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase.